11.11.2009

all because i left my umbrella on the train

wednesday is my late night this semester as you learned here.

i was so set on getting home that i darted off the train and left my [nice] umbrella on the train.

i alerted the station manager as soon as i realized i was without (when i stepped into the rain)--- and so it took about 20 minutes for the train conductor to be able to check if my umbrella was there. i got to talking with the station manager and he starting talking about his life, his wife and how they have been married for 33 years. he says there is nothing left that excites them to be together. they sleep in separate beds.

i asked, what do you think you could do to make it better?

he said, there isn't anything we can do to make it better.
but... isn't there?! what can we all do to makes things better? is it because we have our mind set that things are just to remain the way they are or get worse? i've had situations in my life where i have had to salvage things but i did it only because it was really important to me.

do we not "make it better" because it isn't important?

i hope y'all have something to say on the topic. i'm very interested to know.
and i hope you're all having a good week.

13 comments:

Emily Anne said...

Oh my, that is one of the saddest things I've heard in a while.

You can always do something, or at least TRY, right?

You have to work for something, you can't leave things alone and expect them to blossom! It's so important to show you CARE and show you WANT THIS, no matter what it is. Do something unexpected, do something sweet, do the best you can!

We are all capable of trying to do the best we can. I feel {especially lately} like people have forgotten that, but it is so important.

That was probably inarticulate as anything, but I've had a long day! I hope school isn't making you too crazy :) xo

Emily Anne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Linds said...

I run into this attitude a lot at the hospital, but I think you've hit it on the head-people think that it can't possibly get better, but it might definitely get worse.

That and people are lazy.

33 years is a long freaking time.

There are always 2 sides.

How grateful I am for a spouse that is willing to always look at my side and is my best friend. But you can't forget how fragile marriage can be. Takes an everyday kind of love.



Wait, did you ever get your umbrella back? :) Hope so.

Kristin said...

I would hate to think that there isn't a way to spice things up in any aspect of our lives. The hubs still gives me butterflies after many years together!

Courtney said...

That's terrible....I feel bad for that station manager. The most important thing around is our loved ones. If that's not 'worth making better'...what is?

Saskia said...

That's a really sad story. I believe that we all can CHOOSE to make things better or we can be lazy and let things go.

Every day I don't just wake up and go about my day, I choose to love, I choose to enjoy and be happy and I try and make sure I act on my choices.

You get out what you put in...

xx

The Yellow Door Paperie said...

Wow. Emily, this is a huge question, a huge conversation you were able to have.

Maybe your question, what can you do? Planted a seed, maybe made a difference.

Marriage is so fragile, and it slips so easily through our fingers. We've only been married five years, and some weeks we just have to grab it back, scramble back to a sure place.

Perhaps they forgot how to do that.

Rose Red said...

That makes me sad. I can't imagine feeling like that. To keep a marriage strong you have to......
*Share your feelings, good or bad
*never go to bed mad
*make an effort to spend alone time
* talk about when you first met- that always gets me!

emily said...

thanks for the great comments all--- i am feeling better already!!

Farah said...

oh good god! first of all I am really surprised that he said that to a complete stranger! He must really be feeling lost to have said that I think.

But you are right in a sense that If something is important enough for you, you do everything in your power to make it better! There should be no excuses for that.

lisastassforth said...

Please, when you see him next, tell him you have been thinking about him and his wife. Then suggest he get flowers for her "just because"

Rhianne said...

Its amazing how much strangers can tell you in such a short amount of time - I know some crazy things about some of the people who get on the same bus as me.

Such a sad situation but if they really wanted to make it work surely they would have tried everything by now...

our little love nest said...

I think godliness (doing what is right), with contentment, commitment and healthy communication are needed to make a marriages work. So sad when giving up is the answer instead of working on what we have. xoxo
p.s. Good for you to ask him what he could do to make it better! I love the way you think.