i am totally that blogger right now. that blogger who blogs about the glee episode a week or so ago,
born this way.
i have been very off and on with glee lately. but born this way was on. real big kid stuff was addressed.
the song covers of unpretty/i feel pretty and born this way were uh-maze-ing.
there are so many things i would change about me. i feel like i am always comparing myself or thinking "once ___ will happen then it will be ok" or i'll be better then or something something.
on physical beauty:
appearance is SO subjective. it is so cliché to say but... beauty is in the eye of the beholder. i get angry at myself when i think someone or something is ugly.
sometimes when i'm in a crowded place, like on the metro... i try to pick out one physical characteristic on each person that i think is beautiful.
i just saw a tweet (on the jimmy fallon show) that said, "my mom picks out the odd-shaped watermelons at the store because she feels bad for them."
and i know that is a silly comparison... but why is it that i feel bad for someone when i think they aren't pretty? shouldn't i be feeling bad for myself that appearance is such a concern of mine?
why am i judging them?
why am i judging me for certain physical things that either i can't control or things that i should embrace...
like my super bright skin?! or my numerous freckles and moles?
(p.s. that was hard for me to even write those things down. why?)
on inside beauty:
it's almost a given, especially in such a media driven country as the u.s. that physical and inner beauty totally coincide... because guaranteed i judge someone first by what they look like. and then that determines how i judge their personality.
and i am almost always wrong about my judgment! so why do i keep doing it?
why can't i just give others a chance... just like i want them to give me a chance?
why can't i be natural and loving and accepting just like i imagine i could be?
i don't like that sometimes i am mean or insensitive or totally selfish.
was on my mind.
at some point.
i can accept
and i can accept.
you for you.