a sunrise cafe (aka saying what you want)

you can tell the things i've been thinking lately, by my sometimes "serious" posts.

here's one: saying what you really mean, saying what you really want, being honest.

ben's parents originated the expression "a sunrise cafe" ---
a long time back, when they were trying to decide on a place to eat, they ended up eating at sunrise cafe, thinking that was the place the other person wanted to eat, when really- neither one of them wanted to eat there.

i bring this up not only because this happens sometimes (not just with restaurants)... but because lately i've realized there are rewards behind saying what you really want, giving consent and being honest about when you've made a mistake.
so when this does happen, ben and i will say, "is this a sunrise cafe?"

for example: the other day at work i made a mistake (surprised?!). it was a small mistake, but noticeable. i went ahead and admitted i did something wrong and i would be much better in the future.
and then all of the sudden this person said, it's not a big deal! don't worry! it happens.
and i feel like, because i admitted my mistake, it helped me progress even that much more.
and maybe i gained some respect, too.

i mean, i dunno.
i guess honesty is the best policy- even when honesty isn't about lying or telling the truth. it's about being assertive.

sorry this was boring. (ha)

photo taken at the top of the rock.


Brittany said...

I love that expression--I feel like it happens all too much. You're right of course, and so wise. I like you and your "serious" posts a lot. :)

Abby and Mike said...

My husband and I have a term for that too! We call it "content communicating". Its from a talk on CD by John Lund called "For All Eternity". Ever since we listened to it right after we were first married, we would say to each other, "Are you content communicating?"

I love it!


Emily said...

I like this post and I wholeheartedly agree. I actually think about this a lot. In fact, just this morning a co worker said "The thing about Emily is she tells you exactly what she thinks". I feel like I really try to live by this; not just "honesty is the best policy" but, saying what I mean or want. The thing I get confused by is when people get wierd/mad/offended/surprised by this. As if I'm somehow being abrasive or something. And, I just really don't get that, what is wrong with just getting to the point and saying it like it is? I think a whole lot more gets accomplished in the end. But, I think, maybe, (some)people (some times) don't really want to hear the truth and this in turn makes people think they shouldn't say the truth. A theory... I, myself, would much rather have it straight all the time. Thanks for talking about stuff. I miss that. :)

Linds said...

honesty is a tricky one. because you're totally right in that you don't have to flat out lie to not be totally honest. sneaky.

we always use the phrase, 'what does that mean to you?' and i think we'll have to add 'a sunrise cafe.'

p.s. not boring

kELLO! said...

that is so cute about his parents. very selfless of them since they both didn't want to eat there.

not boring.

Linda M. said...

Thanks for the shout out!

By the way, did I ever tell you it was A HORRIBLE cafe?