sunlight is like gold

autumn always makes me feel a certain way

- when i was in school, it was so exciting to be starting new again and to begin another academic journey. and now that i'm not in school, i feel nostalgic for crisp walks to school, layering and trips to starbucks for tea to "get me through class." (at least ben is in school so i can live vicariously.)

this year feels different somehow. like - that i am now a real live adult. or something.

i've been thinking a lot about relationships, about being spiritual/mormon/believing in God and i've been feeling full of love for family and friends.

sometimes, although i feel full of love for my husband, family and friends - i feel helpless and i wish so much that i can somehow be the person that can say all the right things in times of trial. or do the right things. (and then i struggle with the notion that maybe that's inherently selfish - that i could be the one to solve everyone's problems, ha.)
i wish that somehow all people, not just the good ones or the people i love - wouldn't have to suffer. wouldn't have to go through things that i can't even bare to even think of that would be so trying and so emotionally and physically taxing. and such a struggle to even recover from.

for some reason, now that i am sitting down to write this post - i am not as eloquent as i would have liked. the end. 


laden backpack said...

Everything is cool. All those people you love
Reciprocate and think the world of you. All
Is well

shayna said...

I really love you. I want to take autumn walks with you and talk about ways we can solve the problems of the world.

hanner said...


Peggy said...

thanks for loving family. we have a genetic think about wanting to solve all the world's problems, but we have to just be satisfied with "all we can do" Love you

Linds said...

You inspire me to think deeper thoughts than, 'did I just change Donovan or Charlie?' 'What are we having for lunch?'

I love Love.